Skulduggery Pleasant Troubled Times
by KobraFists
Summary: The destruction of the world is near. As Skulduggery and Valkyrie struggle to keep themselves alive, the world is falling to ruins. Will Skulduggery and Valkyrie pull through, or is the world finally in it's darkest hour?
1. Darkness Descends

**Skulduggery Pleasant- Troubled Times**

**Hey guys. This is my new story; Skulduggery Pleasant troubled times. I asked people their ideas on characters and got five back so those 5 are going to have the biggest parts in the story. People can still put down their ideas, but these 5 characters are set in stone. Maybe I'll add more, but for now, 5 characters is enough. Big thanks to Snickersluv, DuskTillDawn95,** **Blaze Repose,** **Radius Flame and an Anonymous reviewer for the characters. With out further ado, lets start.**

**Disclaimer: Me no own Skulduggery Pleasant ;)**

_Sanguine stalked through the corridors. He didn't like the house. It sent shivers through his spine. He had no idea why he had been called to come hear, but for some reason he wanted to. He opened a door and smiled at what he saw. A group of people sitting round' a table. All women, Sanguine thought to himself as he took a seat. The door closed behind him and he turned to see what had caused this. There was a man at the door. He wore a white suit, not one speck on it, and had white shoes. His hair was in a fringe and Sanguine couldn't see the right eye. He stood tall, and his shoulders were broad. He had a slightly upturned nose and his left eye was forest green in colour. He had a scar from his left eye all the way to his shoulder. His hair was Oak brown._

"_Hello everyone", the man said in a firm Irish accent, " My name is Kobra Fists and I called all of you here"._

" _Why did you do that?" a voice chimed and Sanguine turned to see the a girl with slim body shape and muscular legs. She had long wavy black hair with two purple streaks on the left side. She had a dove tattoo on her left wrist. She looked no older than Cain._

" _I need your help". The lady who was looking out the window turned her head. Sanguine heard cats mew from outside._

" _Do tell us what this is about". _

" _I will, all in good time. Now, do introduce yourselves to one and another". The girl with the purple streaks stood up._

" _I am Jay Foren, and I want to know what is going on". The cat lady sighed._

" _My name is Goth Skullcandy, and I agree with Ms. Fashion, I want to know what the hell is going on". Sanguine decided he would go next._

" _As you probably know, my name is Billy- Ray Sanguine." Somebody barked a laugh and Sanguine glared at her. " Do you mind telling me what is so damn funny?" The girl had shoulder length black hair, with red bangs much to Sanguine's taste. She had dark blue eyes and wore tight black jeans, which were accompanied by a black jacket, which had a hood. Sanguine could plainly see her sword. What she didn't know was that Sanguine could also see her gun, hidden away in her jacket. One of the advantages of not having eyes, Sanguine thought to himself._

" _My name is Aura Slade, and I'm laughing because you're the idiot who keeps getting beaten by Valkyrie Cain."_

" _Do you forget who Cain had been trained by?" Sanguine asked quickly, his anger flaring._

" _Skulduggery Pleasant", Aura, Goth and Jay said in union. One girl looked calm._

" _My name is Luna Kelly, and I think I am being ignored". She had long black hair with pink bangs. She was pretty big, bigger than Sanguine at least. She had webbed fingers, much to Sanguine's surprise._

" _Damn right you are", Goth piped up but Luna remained calm._

"_I do not like people who meddle with my business". Kobra stepped in._

" _Now that you are all acquainted, I think I should explain a few things". Goth sat down and everyone looked at Kobra. He seemed to show no emotion at all._

" _Go on then", Jay said, looking impatient._

" _For too long people have been living in ignorance. They have been taking things for granted and locking the innocent in prison. For 100 years, I went to prison in the Sanctuary for a murder I did not commit. Dreylan Scarab had the same image but he failed because he did it for revenge. I plan on doing this for the good of society. To show them to think about what they do before they act. I, will the help of you five, will be able to achieve this goal, wipe out any enemy's along the way and destroy the world, simply to teach the world a lesson". The group sat in silence until Sanguine put his hand up._

" _Do we get to kill Funny Bones and Cain?"_

" _Who-ever you think deserves the penalty of death". Sanguine smiled._

Valkyrie sighed as she dodged to the left then hit Scapegrace in the nose. Scapegrace whimpered then collapsed to the floor.

" Why don't you just turn yourself in Scapegrace? We both know you can't win".

" On the contraire Cain, I know a few more tricks." Scapegrace lowered his head and went for a head-but. Valkyrie tripped him and Scapegrace fell off the building.

" Wow, that was brutal", a voice said from behind and Valkyrie turned her head to see Fletcher Renn, his hair spiked at impossible angles.

" Yeah, but in my defense, he got on my nerves". Valkyrie looked smugly at Fletcher.

" How'd the date go Porcupine?" Valkyrie and Fletcher had broken up a few moths ago but Valkyrie still though Fletcher was a good friend. No, too much credit, Valkyrie thought to herself. An annoying friend was more accurate.

" Again with the hair, what's wrong with it? It's brilliant."

" It defies both gravity and reason".

" Don't you think my hair looks gorgeous? Makes me look like a movie-star."

" It makes you look like a demented porcupine. Anyway, you still haven't answered my question".

" The date was good."

" What was her name again?"

" Jay Foren".

" She hates me, doesn't she?"

"Of course she does. She wanted to be Skulduggery's apprentice, but you took that job and you're my ex-girlfriend. You had and have everything she wanted".

" It's not my fault I'm perfect". Fletcher laughed and a thought hit Valkyrie.

" Fletcher, Scapegrace is still down there". Just at that moment, Scapegrace came hurtling back onto the building and hit the floor with a thump.

" Lose something?" A smooth as velvet voice asked and Valkyrie grinned as Skulduggery flew onto the building.

" I was talking with Fletcher".

" Don't worry, if it wasn't for me, a zombie would have been lose in the town".

" So you're saying if you weren't there, we would have been in trouble?"

" Yep".

" So if you had stalled, we would have been ridiculed?".

" For letting out the worst criminal in the business".

" Then we're very lucky".

" What would you have done if I had tripped?"

" Nonsense Skulduggery, you wouldn't have tripped, you're far too graceful", Valkyrie said in a mock tone that gathered a snicker from Fletcher. Skulduggery nodded his head.

" I can't argue with that".

" You hold me in high respects", Scapegrace whined and Skulduggery kicked him.

" Hush now, you're the worst criminal at doing your job".

" Where do we take him?" Valkyrie asked and Skulduggery just shrugged.

" He's too small a threat for me to take him to Erskine, but I think he's also too small a threat to take to normal prison. I'll probably just throw him in the water".

" You fear me", Scapegrace said slowly and Skulduggery kicked him, harder this time, and Scapegrace went back over the building.

" You know what, just leave him there. The police will find him eventually". Skulduggery's phone rang and Valkyrie laughed. The ringtone was ' Dry Bones'. It never failed to amuse her. After a while of mumbling Skulduggery finally closed her phone.

" We've got a meeting".

" With who?" Valkyrie asked lazily, not really caring.

" Ghastly".

Ghastly Bespoke was sitting on his chair when Skulduggery arrived. Valkyrie was by his side, as usual, but surprisingly, Fletcher was also there. Ghastly stood up and shook Skulduggery's hand firmly then hugged Valkyrie. He nodded his head at Fletcher who vanished afterwards.

" I'm afraid I have some bad news". Skulduggery cocked his head before answering,

" Bad news as in the good bad news or the bad news?

" Isn't there only one type of bad news?".

" Not in my dictionary. Anyway, I mean is it really bad news".

" The usual, a crazed madman escaped from jail and tries to kill the world".

" Ah, that kind of news."

" Do you have a name for it?"

" Yeah, we call it trouble".

"Skulduggery, I need you to take this seriously. Kobra Fists has escaped from Jail." Skulduggery stayed quite for a moment.

" When did he escape?"

" He didn't. He did his 100 years".

" Damn, it's Dreylan Scarab all over again".

" Was Kobra imprisoned by mistake?".

" Oh no, Kobra is a cold-hearted murderer. He kills for the sake of it, but he also has a purpose. To show the world that it is not completely indestructible".

" So he's got a valid point".

" Yes, but that doesn't mean he has the right to kill thousands of people."

" Who's Kobra Fists", Valkyrie asked and Skulduggery sighed.

" Kobra Fists is a crazed lunatic, who kills and destroys things to expose the cracks in humanity. He makes best friends go against each other just to fix a weakness. He is quite mad".

" I figured. Anyway, let's go to the faithful Evil Scale. 1 being Scapegrace, 10 being Serpine and 20 being Lord Vile." Skulduggery muttered a reply.

" I'm sorry I didn't catch that", Valkyrie said, determined to get an answer.

" 21", Skulduggery blurted out and Valkyrie froze.

" Skulduggery, you're implying that this Kobra fists guy is more evil than Lord Vile."

" Kobra Fists is not eviler than Lord Vile, no, but that is only because Kobra Fist's is not evil. He is not good either. No, he just does things to make the world fall into chaos, to see it burn because his world burned. He is, as you have probably heard in the Batman movies, an agent of Chaos."

" So we're going up against a Joker?"

" No, we're going up against Heath Ledger".

" Seriously?" Skulduggery shrugged.

" You never know." Somebody cleared their throat and Ghastly, Valkyrie and Skulduggery spun round. Skulduggery had his revolver out.

" Whoa , no need to shoot", the voice said as Skulduggery lowered his gun.

" Blaze?"

Skulduggery was chatting to the girl that had appeared. Her name was Blaze Repose. She had long, partly pinned up brown hair with violet streaks. Valkyrie thought about her own hair. Maybe I'll but some red streaks in it, she thought to herself. The girl had hazel eyes, and wore a simple sleeveless top with a short-sleeved jacket that had ornate embroideries. She wore white jeans and black and purple boots. She wore tons of jewelry. Apparently, Skulduggery knew her mother well. Her mother, who's name had not yet been mentioned, had been a pacifist and although Skulduggery had not agreed with her mother's cause, they had been good friends. One of Skulduggery's only friends. Valkyrie's mind had drifted away until she remembered something. Where the hell was Fletcher? She remembered coming in with him but hadn't seen him since. Oh well, maybe he's gone to put more gel in his hair.

" You look tired", a distance voice echoed and Valkyrie turned her head. Blade was standing there, a cup of hot chocolate in her hand. She handed it to Valkyrie.

" Thanks", Valkyrie muttered as Blaze sat down next to her.

" I thought I should tell you, I'm going to be travelling with you". Valkyrie looked at her stunned.

" Really?"

" Yeah. Ghastly had given me and Skulduggery the task of tracking down and capturing Kobra before he kills again, which is inevitable".

" How do you know Kobra?"

" Kobra? The bastard tried to kill my mum. Of course, having symbols all around the house saved her life, but he killed my dad."

" I'm sorry".

" Don't be Valkyrie. Save you sorrow for those who deserve it, like Skulduggery".

" Why Skulduggery?" Valkyrie asked but her question was cut short by Skulduggery's yelps. Valkyrie burst into the room then burst out laughing. Skulduggery was _dancing_, looking hilarious.

" What have you done to me Cain?" Skulduggery asked, still dancing around the room like a puppet.

" Why me? I wasn't the one in the room".

" You're secretly plotting my downfall".

" Whatever you say Detective".

" I'm placing you under arrest for making me look like a fool, laughing at me, plotting against me and possibly littering."

" Come On Skulduggery, it was one Ice- cream".

" Yeah, but a dog ate that Ice- Cream, then, um, excreted it out. A bunch of kids found that, and played a prank on their teacher. The teacher slipped and fell on the doo and the Ice- Cream was there, so that's also assault".

" Put him down Blaze", Valkyrie said as Blaze clicked her fingers and Skulduggery came down.

" I hate you Valkyrie".

" Even after Blaze clicked her fingers and made it stop, you still blame me?"

" Naturally"

" Why?"

" Because you have proven yourself an annoying ally."

" Well Skulduggery, I happen to know a friend who has a Great Dane. I could take you over there and you and the dog could get acquainted."

" I'm starting to miss the day I shot you".

" You always will".

" It's my fondest memory, you know. The sound of the gun was very pleasing."

" You're not being very Pleasant".

" I don't have to".

" Yes you do, it's in your name."

" What's in a name?"

" How about magic?"

" Willy Wonka magic?"

" Yes".

" Anyway Valkyrie, you take your name very seriously."

" And why is that?"

" Because Cain means trouble. And you are a whole lot of trouble". Valkyrie grinned.

" What does that make Fletcher Renn?"

" Annoying". Valkyrie grinned even more.

" So when do we get going?" Blaze asked and Skulduggery cocked his head.

" We go after we've had lunch".

" Skulduggery, you can't eat", Valkyrie chimed in.

" I know".

" So why do you want to go to lunch".

" Because I feel like watching you eat shrimp, it makes me fell and warm and fuzzy".

" So we have to eat what you tell us to?"

" Exactly".

" Why do we have to listen you?" Blaze asked.

" Because I am Skulduggery Pleasant".

" The world's worst detective", Valkyrie interrupted and Blaze burst out laughing. Skulduggery sighed. It was going to be a hell of a day.

_**Hope you liked my first chapter. Again, a big thanks to those who contributed :). Your characters will have a big role in the story. Anyway, sorry for spelling mistakes but I don't really have time to check for mistakes. Till next time, keep it real :P**_


	2. Shrimp

**Skulduggery Pleasant- Troubled Times**

**Hello guys. This is the second chapter ( as you probably didn't know XD) . I would like to thank Snickersluv, DuskTillDawn95,** **Blaze Repose,** **Radius Flame and an Anonymous reviewer again for giving me 5 brilliant characters, but enough with pointless chatter, lets get started ;)**

**Disclaimer: Me no own Skulduggery Pleasant, no matter what you say ;)**

The Bentley pulled up by a warehouse. Valkyrie and Blaze got out of the car lightning fast. Skulduggery got out of the car slowly, his façade on, mumbling. He looked annoyed.

" You two better tell me a good place for car cleaning".

" Skulduggery, it's not my fault Blaze dropped shrimp all over the backseat of the Bentley", Valkyrie replied and Blaze started to giggle.

" Skulduggery, you were the person who insisted we eat shrimp." Blaze said, still giggling. Skulduggery sighed and was about to close the Bentley's door when he stopped. He looked around, looking cautious, then deactivated the façade. His skull seemed to gleam.

" We're being followed", he whispered as he pulled out his revolver. The ground started to splinter and crack as Sanguine appeared.

" Hello Funny bones", Sanguine said, then looked over to Cain. " It is nice to see you again Cain, you seem to be bigger than the last time we met. Maybe the burgers are getting to you". Valkyrie's retort died on her tongue.

" Sanguine, you've got 5 seconds to move before I fire my revolver". Skulduggery said then paused for a moment. " I'm sorry, that offer has ended." Skulduggery fired the revolver but shadows rose up and swallowed the bullet. The shadows seemed to swirl and a figure appeared from the middle of them. The shadows died down but the figure was still there. She had shoulder length black hair with red bangs and wore tight black jeans with a black jacket that had wide sleeves and a hood. All the shadows in the area seemed to be moving. Valkyrie realized why. She was a necromancer, and a very powerful one at that if _all_ the shadow were under her command. Sanguine just grinned. Blaze moved in, and fired red daggers at Sanguine. It reminded Valkyrie of China. Sanguine hurtled back and Valkyrie summoned shadows then hurled them at the woman. She simply waved her hand and the shadows disappeared. Valkyrie stared in disbelief. No necromancer, not even Solomon Wreath, could dispel shadows _that_ easily. Valkyrie saw Skulduggery hurtle backwards, his suit burning ferociously. A man in a white suit stepped forward. Valkyrie couldn't afford to focus on him. She pushed at the wind and the woman went flying back, hit the wall but just re-bounded back and ran at Valkyrie. Valkyrie stepped to the side then put her leg out. The woman just jumped over it then caught Valkyrie in the face with her right leg. Valkyrie winced in pain then sent shard of shadow at the woman. She summoned up a barrier of shadow but Valkyrie knew she was going to do that. It was necromancer instinct. She moved in and caught the woman with an uppercut. She stumbled back then screamed. The area was filled with a yellow light and the woman crumpled to the floor. Valkyrie looked around and saw Blaze, a yellow symbol glowing on her hands. She heard a breath behind her. Valkyrie turned and instinctively lashed out. The figure dodged then threw a knife at Valkyrie. The knife hit Valkyrie in the shoulder and she jerked back. She didn't seem to realize what had happened as she pushed at the wind and the figure went flying back into the wall. The figure was another girl. This one had black hair, a black with red stripe shirt and fingerless gloves that were the same color as the shirt. Valkyrie looked up and saw cats on the roof. The figure stood up and snarled. She pulled out a gun then fired. Valkyrie dodged it, then attacked the figure with a barrage of attacks. Hooks, kicks and the occasional fireball. The figure bent over in pain, then her eyes seemed to glow a vivid red. She reached for her neck, and ripped it off. The skin followed and the vampire stood on it's hind legs. Valkyrie didn't understand. Vampire's only transformed at night. This was very weird. The vampire rushed at Valkyrie and Valkyrie moved to the left, barely dodging the charging vampire. It seemed to have a problem with it's left leg. Blaze stepped in, and charged at the vampire with blue symbols glowing on her neck. The vampire swiped at Blaze but hit an invisible barrier. Blaze punched the vampire but it didn't have any affect. That thing was vicious. Valkyrie turned to help Skulduggery but was blocked by another figure. Damn, too many people. This one loomed above her and was a man, not a woman. It was the man from earlier, Valkyrie realized as she backed off. The man followed her.

" Who are you", Valkyrie asked as he prepared herself to fight. She still hadn't noticed the knife sticking into her shoulder.

" I am Kobra Fists".

" What do you want".

" For the world to become solid". He threw something at Valkyrie and Valkyrie caught it. She cursed when she saw what it was. Skulduggery's head.

" Hello Valkyrie", Skulduggery said.

" Even when he has lost his head, he is still very humorous", Kobra said.

" Why are you talking to me like I'm a friend?" Valkyrie asked and Kobra shook his head.

" I am not your enemy, but you're right, I am not your friend. I am nothing… and that is what makes me so special". Valkyrie sent a wave of shadow into Kobra but he just laughed and put his hand out. The shadow stopped dead in it's tracks, then came hurtling back at Valkyrie. Valkyrie was swept back and slammed into the wall, her nose gushing with blood. She still held onto Skulduggery's head.

" My power is the ability to reverse and control things", Kobra said, still smiling. Valkyrie wanted to get that smirk off his face.

" You're a lunatic." Valkyrie said but Kobra just shrugged.

" So I've been told." Valkyrie heard a grunt and looked around to see Blaze slumped on the floor. Three others were also on the floor. One was the vampire, one was the necromancer and the other was Sanguine.

" Well, your team certainly put up a valiant effort", Kobra said, admiring the scene in front of him. " But I always say quantity over quality". Valkyrie leaped up and punched him. He didn't even stumble. He grabbed her arm and Valkyrie seemed to shudder before collapsing. Her breathing was heavy as she looked around. Kobra was sitting on a brick, shaking his head.

" I expected better from you". He picked up Skulduggery's skull then the three prone bodies of Sanguine, the Necromancer and the Vampire, then walked off.

" Skulduggery", Valkyrie called faintly as blackness crept over her vision.

**A/N: Not as long as my usual stories but hey, not that short either. This story shouldn't be too long, maybe 15 chapters, but I'm happy with the way it's progressing. And only one day till Death Bringer is released ( In my time zone). I can't wait for it, and my later chapters may have a few spoilers. Anyway, till next time, keep it real :P And don't forget to review if you like ;)**


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